2.4 I Wonder

I WONDER

by Eric Chaet

I wonder what will happen.
I wonder how much longer
I will be as healthy & clear-thinking as I am now.
I wonder how much longer I will live.

I wonder whether there will be accelerating inflation or deflation,
or up & down fluctuations—&, if so, what the amplitude will be.

I wonder if the nation will enter a brief or long period of combat,
& if it will emerge whole, broken up, expanded, or shrunk.
I wonder if its precious liberties will be strengthened or weakened.
I wonder how badly the air, water, animals, & soil will be punished.

I wonder if my nation’s people will ever manage
to escape from the myths they believe are our history.
I wonder if the people of the nations my nation confronts
will manage to escape from the myths they believe are their history.

I wonder if many of my countrymen will be killed or ruined,
if many of those against whom my nation wars will be killed or ruined,
if, when it’s over, the situation will be better or worse,
or if there will be, yet, fluctuations—
&, if so, I wonder what the amplitude will be.

I wonder if my wife & I will survive the winter—
&, if we do, how much heating our home will cost.
I wonder how long the car I drive will continue to function.

I wonder how long the plumbing & wiring of the old house
will continue to do what’s necessary, more or less,
if a drought, or flood, epidemic, or famine is over the horizon.

I wonder what kinds of opportunities to earn resources I’ll find,
& which of the seeds & sprouts I’ve planted will flourish.

I wonder what kind of lucky or unlucky events—
beyond my control, even beyond my knowledge—
will intersect the trajectory I partly follow, partly create.

I wonder who I am becoming,
& what I am going to do, & how,
& which of it I’ve already begun,
& which of it I must find a way to begin.

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Picture: Kokoschka