4.3 As Tho I’d Never Existed

by Eric Chaet

I return to my work again:
it’s as tho I’d never existed
the river of cars rolls by
no driver notices me
walking toward the mill
my wife’s redecorating
for the nth time
it’s as tho I’d never spoken
a coherent sentence
the president sends troops
to kill & be killed
confident
of their eventual triumph
it’s as tho
I’d never left my mother
or picketed
the Columbia, Missouri
post office
books, recordings, films
pour out of Manhattan, London, Nashville, L.A., Mumbai
& reporters relay official pronouncements
they don’t comprehend or question
it’s as tho I’d never invented the wheel & axle
as tho I’d never set photosynthesis going
never lifted a weight, operated a press, washed dishes
as tho I’d never lost a week of nights of sleep
fearful all the efforts I’d invested—
when I invest, I invest myself!—
would spiral down the drain
as tho I’d never hunted & deployed a plug!

I roll up my sleeves:
it’s thrilling to return to work again
a million times more skillful & less ignorant—
still daunted, yet more powerful than the first time I began
or even the last time—
& no one any more aware of it now, than then!

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Picture: U.S. Department of Transportation