3.4 Almost Thru the Surface

by Eric Chaet

Unresolved issues
with parents, siblings, lovers, friends, peers
those who outranked you
& those who depended on you.

Important events & developments
recorded, or never recorded
or recorded dishonestly or inaccurately
or recorded honestly & accurately, even brilliantly—
but you’re unaware of them.

People you approached, hoping to team up
but you didn’t fit their needs, they felt, just then—
& people who approached you, hoping to team up
but you’d already embarked, & you called out
that you couldn’t return to shore for them
or were too far gone already even to reply.

When young, lack of experience against which to gauge
hopes, fears, plans, others’ claims—
then, when older, nagging aches, gnawing regrets
equipment & arrangements you count on
that no one but you is going to maintain or repair
nebulous anxieties about health, old age, & death
& obligations previously assumed, wisely or unwisely.

Time invested examining works not of genius or efficacy
but of imitation, vanity, selfish ambition.
Time spent beginning to create such works yourself.
Works of genius or efficacy you haven’t examined
that would save you years of joyless blundering.

The bright & sparkling moon, stars, & galaxy—
but you were tossing & turning in bed, thinking,
I must be alert tomorrow—in traffic, at school, at work!

The great open world—but you’re trying on pairs of shoes
when you already have a good-enough pair.

Great initiatives of poorly-informed, self-righteous
so-called leaders, of your nation & other nations
of your time, & of recent & ancient times
the consequences of which involve you
tho you bitterly resent that they do.

All the struggling to clarify your own hopes & intents
to discover & refine your methods
to proceed, accomplish, & contribute—
to sprout thru the barrier yet doorway surface
into the glimmering & nourishing future—
while you still have sufficient energy for the effort!

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Picture: National Institute of General Medical Science